Touch Me

Hugs.  Pats on the back.  Kisses on the cheek.

I received and passed out a lot of these in NYC where you kiss everyone.  Norway isn't so touchy feely so this week is 'Touch and Hug Week' for me.  Mission: Nationalize.

I got this idea from watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.  (No the show isn't still on the air however it's on the boob tube in Norway where I've been watching awful sitcoms from 2006 for almost 2 months now.  Judging Amy, Biggest Loser 2007, Veronica Mars.  Shows that were never shown in the US are all up in my daytime face over here.)

Queer Eye is from a time of stonewashed jeans and highlighted men's hair however the gay/straight relationships are still relevant.  Straight men hanging out with gay men have always amazed and impressed me as we come from a world of beautiful mature expressions such as 'you're gay', 'fag' and 'god hates gays'.

So I'm watching QE and the hosts are all huggin and touchin on these straight men.  What I observe is that the straight men are totally down to hug.  It seems they see it for what it is, a sign of care.  Simple to me, but hard for homophobs to understand.  (poor people)

That's why if you come across me in the coming days you'll get a big hug, some poking and stuff and a kiss.

I've done tests on this and I've found we need to be physical with other.  It makes us happier, healthier, prettier richer and cooler.  People who don't get touched are ugly and boring and smell bad.  So don't get your panties in a bunch when I clobber you with love.  It's for your own good.