I Love Moving and Searching for Jobs

Love Letter to my Blog:

I love writing you and thinking about you.  However I am having trouble searching for he answers to where Santa lives, so I have to continue my research from the USA...

I will be back in the Big Apple sunday at 1:15pm EST.

Shortly after this I will commence sharing my crazy pants feelings and thoughts with all of you.

xoxo
(i promise this is not the end)

I Hate Tourisits

Let's see if we can make the following happen this weekend. 
(note: this post has nothing to do with Santa or Norway)

 Prepare for me to be the ultimate tourist while at this one.  I'm already embarrassing myself.

I've seen the tiny wanna be one in NYC a million times.  I'm now ready for the momma.

 It's pretty popular and the BF wants to see it.  That's all I know.

I mean come on, the mother f-ing Mona Lisa.  I hear she's not that great in person but you gotta give it a look see anyway 'while in the area'.

 Look, I been knowin about it, however Tom Hanks and that awful haircut in those terrible movies has made me love it.

 Awww, 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' how sweet.

 The "Paris River' as some like to call it.

 I had to throw in a trashy one; the most famous whore house.  Love the music from the movie so I hope that shit is piping throughout all of France.

Socialist Fasion

European style is much different than NYC style. Small Ked type shoes, small heel newsboy boots, tight pants with big shirts? Not for me. And on the contrary I've seen some outta the park stylizing here in Norway.  Nice color combos, interesting parings of leggings with scarves with jewelery and so on.  But am I now immune to what I know? Will I some day wear big shirts with small pants and shoes? I think I will and I won't know it's happening.

I would like to tell the Americans something... H&M is expensive over here. The shopping in Norway is one way, expensive.  Tops are 50 bones, dresses $60-$150.  There is no top for $15 bux there.  I laugh at that thought.  

Q: If I wear H&M in Norway does that mean I don't make any money? A: No it doesn't Q: So does that mean that H&M is as nice as Burberry, Ralph Lauren, Betsey Johnson? A: No it doesn't. It means that if you want something that's under 100 bucks go to H&M and if you want something with a better fit, better design or more well made go to the 'SoHo like' boutiques that are EVREYWHERE and spend minumum $150 for a top. There's no Macy's, Century 21, Target, JCPenny (which has some good stuff since it's relaunch about a year ago). You have to find what you want at an expensive exclusive shop and that's pretty much it. Socialism is no joke.

Everyone makes the same amount and every store costs the same. Really. I've never known anything like it.

Porn In The Waiting Room

When you use the word 'naked' in google searches you can't be responsible for what happens. Ultimately this search lead me to Lady Gaga's 'hoo hoo' falling out of her leotard on a concert stage.

All I wanted was a screen shot of some boobies that I saw last night on the free government channel. 'Free gov't channel' that makes it sound like African Tribeswomen boobs, however they were fake porn star tatas. I was being forced to watch 'Paradise Hotel Norway' and admire the BF's newly rediscovered poker chips (wonderful) when suddenly I get a couple seconds of some boobies all hangin out in the shower and then her naked wet booty. Yes, boobs, nipples and ass at about 9:30 pm on primetime reality TV.

Paradise Hotel Norwegian Prime Time TV

I'm embarrassed by how shocked I was to see this. In the U.S. I would be proud that finally our left wing freedom of speech sex ed stuff prevailed in the media. In Norway I'm not sure if it's the same. This country is 2 clearly different places. There's the 'country people and the city people'.  Then there's the hazy middle part. I think I live there. This is unlike the states which is a conglomerate of every type of person that exists, thus the media in the states can be confusing which can be attributed to the pop. difference: 4.8 mill vs 300 mill. Some Norwegians are freaky sex kittens and some are reserved, missionary position only farmers. Problem is Norway, you can't show naked girls all over the place and then expect us non-norwegians to accept your conservative sexual habits and proper dinner party etiquette. The media doesn't reflect the people. Damn I'm confused.

They Gave Me This Mag at the Doc's Office

Popular Men's Magazine

In some cases I see modestly within the public. Loose fitting shirts and dresses, flat shoes, no flashy jewelery or cleavage and little skin showing in the summer. On the tube, tits and ass. In the doctors office tits and ass. I'm sitting in the waiting room; waiting (naturally) for the BF to have a hockey injury examined and I stumble upon a magazine sporting shapely blonde twins. I know what's inside and I just want to look at it in public. It feels naughty and exciting. I was looking at Playboy in the waiting room of the hospital. The doctors gave me porn to look at while I was waiting.

 In my last blog I wanted us to hug and kiss more, now I want us to get naked more. Be prepared.

Norway I love you for not flinching at nudity in the media, now lets get on the road to being sexually open and aware in reality.

Touch Me

Hugs.  Pats on the back.  Kisses on the cheek.

I received and passed out a lot of these in NYC where you kiss everyone.  Norway isn't so touchy feely so this week is 'Touch and Hug Week' for me.  Mission: Nationalize.

I got this idea from watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.  (No the show isn't still on the air however it's on the boob tube in Norway where I've been watching awful sitcoms from 2006 for almost 2 months now.  Judging Amy, Biggest Loser 2007, Veronica Mars.  Shows that were never shown in the US are all up in my daytime face over here.)

Queer Eye is from a time of stonewashed jeans and highlighted men's hair however the gay/straight relationships are still relevant.  Straight men hanging out with gay men have always amazed and impressed me as we come from a world of beautiful mature expressions such as 'you're gay', 'fag' and 'god hates gays'.

So I'm watching QE and the hosts are all huggin and touchin on these straight men.  What I observe is that the straight men are totally down to hug.  It seems they see it for what it is, a sign of care.  Simple to me, but hard for homophobs to understand.  (poor people)

That's why if you come across me in the coming days you'll get a big hug, some poking and stuff and a kiss.

I've done tests on this and I've found we need to be physical with other.  It makes us happier, healthier, prettier richer and cooler.  People who don't get touched are ugly and boring and smell bad.  So don't get your panties in a bunch when I clobber you with love.  It's for your own good.