OK = F-ing Fantastic

Finally I have a door on my bedroom (although it's broken and doesn't shut all the way) and I have a job (although I work 12 hours a day) and I have a bed (although it's hard as a rock).

3 important things that I have been taking for granted for my whole life. Simple privacy, steady income and a mattress. As you can see quality is not as important as the existence of them.

Then there are some things that have no caveats at all: Great family- mom, dad, big bro, nieces, sisters and cousins. Great friends- the Indians, Brooklyn kids, skaters, upper east siders, west coasters and fellow downtown folks.

In the case of human beings in my life quality is all that matters.  I had this theory prior to when I needed you the most and now you have proven my theory correct.   When I thought it wouldn't get better you told me it would and you helped me make it happen.

Thank you to the people I have been so lucky to have in my life.  You have made the past couple months so much more bearable than I imagined they could ever be.

Through being jobless, broke, neurotic, homeless and unmanageable; you gave me shelter.  You have all stuck by me and and been all that could light up my days.

It was a short age of depression for Momma Rachel and I've come out a little different, but mostly the same as I went in.  I never thought I could go through such a transformation and come out on top, but here I am; just straight up OK and being OK is the all I could have hoped for and more.

I Wanna Be A Comeback Queen

In my opinion Britney is the come back queen and to be compared to her would be an honor.  Ubrella throwin, head shavin, baby makin, smokin hot, trashy Brit.  

It's been over 2 months of retreat from this blog and the one thing that is on my mind more than anything are the people in my life. An ode to my friends and family is in the works and there is no better place to tell all of you in written permanent words how much you mean to me.  

This blog was meant to keep me busy and provide a creative outlet while deep in the mountains of desolate, Socialist Norway.  Now that I'm back in bustling America I would rather not shake it to tell you the truth. So here we go again and the name stays the same.

I will still beat up Scandinavia and St. Nick a bit but I think we're transitioning to the topic of ridiculous rooftop mayhem, hangovers and random run-ins on the hot, dirty, breath taking streets of New York.

I Love Moving and Searching for Jobs

Love Letter to my Blog:

I love writing you and thinking about you.  However I am having trouble searching for he answers to where Santa lives, so I have to continue my research from the USA...

I will be back in the Big Apple sunday at 1:15pm EST.

Shortly after this I will commence sharing my crazy pants feelings and thoughts with all of you.

xoxo
(i promise this is not the end)

I Hate Tourisits

Let's see if we can make the following happen this weekend. 
(note: this post has nothing to do with Santa or Norway)

 Prepare for me to be the ultimate tourist while at this one.  I'm already embarrassing myself.

I've seen the tiny wanna be one in NYC a million times.  I'm now ready for the momma.

 It's pretty popular and the BF wants to see it.  That's all I know.

I mean come on, the mother f-ing Mona Lisa.  I hear she's not that great in person but you gotta give it a look see anyway 'while in the area'.

 Look, I been knowin about it, however Tom Hanks and that awful haircut in those terrible movies has made me love it.

 Awww, 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' how sweet.

 The "Paris River' as some like to call it.

 I had to throw in a trashy one; the most famous whore house.  Love the music from the movie so I hope that shit is piping throughout all of France.

Socialist Fasion

European style is much different than NYC style. Small Ked type shoes, small heel newsboy boots, tight pants with big shirts? Not for me. And on the contrary I've seen some outta the park stylizing here in Norway.  Nice color combos, interesting parings of leggings with scarves with jewelery and so on.  But am I now immune to what I know? Will I some day wear big shirts with small pants and shoes? I think I will and I won't know it's happening.

I would like to tell the Americans something... H&M is expensive over here. The shopping in Norway is one way, expensive.  Tops are 50 bones, dresses $60-$150.  There is no top for $15 bux there.  I laugh at that thought.  

Q: If I wear H&M in Norway does that mean I don't make any money? A: No it doesn't Q: So does that mean that H&M is as nice as Burberry, Ralph Lauren, Betsey Johnson? A: No it doesn't. It means that if you want something that's under 100 bucks go to H&M and if you want something with a better fit, better design or more well made go to the 'SoHo like' boutiques that are EVREYWHERE and spend minumum $150 for a top. There's no Macy's, Century 21, Target, JCPenny (which has some good stuff since it's relaunch about a year ago). You have to find what you want at an expensive exclusive shop and that's pretty much it. Socialism is no joke.

Everyone makes the same amount and every store costs the same. Really. I've never known anything like it.

Porn In The Waiting Room

When you use the word 'naked' in google searches you can't be responsible for what happens. Ultimately this search lead me to Lady Gaga's 'hoo hoo' falling out of her leotard on a concert stage.

All I wanted was a screen shot of some boobies that I saw last night on the free government channel. 'Free gov't channel' that makes it sound like African Tribeswomen boobs, however they were fake porn star tatas. I was being forced to watch 'Paradise Hotel Norway' and admire the BF's newly rediscovered poker chips (wonderful) when suddenly I get a couple seconds of some boobies all hangin out in the shower and then her naked wet booty. Yes, boobs, nipples and ass at about 9:30 pm on primetime reality TV.

Paradise Hotel Norwegian Prime Time TV

I'm embarrassed by how shocked I was to see this. In the U.S. I would be proud that finally our left wing freedom of speech sex ed stuff prevailed in the media. In Norway I'm not sure if it's the same. This country is 2 clearly different places. There's the 'country people and the city people'.  Then there's the hazy middle part. I think I live there. This is unlike the states which is a conglomerate of every type of person that exists, thus the media in the states can be confusing which can be attributed to the pop. difference: 4.8 mill vs 300 mill. Some Norwegians are freaky sex kittens and some are reserved, missionary position only farmers. Problem is Norway, you can't show naked girls all over the place and then expect us non-norwegians to accept your conservative sexual habits and proper dinner party etiquette. The media doesn't reflect the people. Damn I'm confused.

They Gave Me This Mag at the Doc's Office

Popular Men's Magazine

In some cases I see modestly within the public. Loose fitting shirts and dresses, flat shoes, no flashy jewelery or cleavage and little skin showing in the summer. On the tube, tits and ass. In the doctors office tits and ass. I'm sitting in the waiting room; waiting (naturally) for the BF to have a hockey injury examined and I stumble upon a magazine sporting shapely blonde twins. I know what's inside and I just want to look at it in public. It feels naughty and exciting. I was looking at Playboy in the waiting room of the hospital. The doctors gave me porn to look at while I was waiting.

 In my last blog I wanted us to hug and kiss more, now I want us to get naked more. Be prepared.

Norway I love you for not flinching at nudity in the media, now lets get on the road to being sexually open and aware in reality.